10.1.1 Friendship Networks
Louisiana Statewide Transition Project and Louisiana: Healthy and Ready to Work Fact Sheet Series
	1/4/99

I. WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT?

Family and friends are among a person's most important relationships. As children mature, the number and variety of relationships they have grow. As adults, most people make many contacts across a network of family, work, neighborhood, associations, churches, and clubs. In each new relationship, adults learn about themselves and their world. It is through varied and rich relationships that adults figure out who they are and where they belong. A network of supportive relationships sustains people in their everyday lives, making it possible for them to celebrate accomplishments, overcome uncertainty, and try new experiences.

While many individuals with disabilities are now living in their home communities and participating in community activities, they often do not have opportunities to build the number and variety of relationships that the rest of us take for granted. Too often they have no real "best friend" and their relationships are limited to immediate family, human services staff, and other people with disabilities.

II. KEY POINTS

In the last few years, many efforts to encourage relationships between children with and without disabilities have been initiated in schools. However, apart from school systems, efforts to assist young adults with disabilities to build supportive networks of friends have been less systematic. Thus, transition planning for many students must include the development of friendship networks in the community. Often when students leave school, they lose touch with school friends. Unless systematic strategies are identified to maintain these friendships and/or unless new friendships are developed in the community, young adults can feel very isolated.

One of the best ways to increase anyone's relationships is to increase his or her opportunities for community presence and participation in community activities. There is no formula for choosing which activities and strategies an individual should try. Successful strategies for developing a network of friends must be totally individualized, fitting the individual's personality, strengths, interests, and preferences. The kind of approaches most likely to work in connecting the young adult to others can be found by discovering what individuals like and do not like, what makes them happy or frustrated, and what they have to contribute to others. Efforts to provide opportunities for friendships to develop can begin anywhere. A variety of clubs, interest groups, and organizations can be found in most communities. Think about community participation in terms of the number and variety of relationships the young adult might develop, rather than the places he or she might go.

Most people develop friendships through their community connections. There are opportunities in neighborhoods, through work, through church or civic organizations, or leisure activities. People make friends with people they are around a great deal. friendships usually develop slowly, and take long periods of time to fully blossom. Once people start thinking about a range of possibilities and providing opportunities, they will be surprised at what is available. It is important to keep looking for occasions and experiences to support a network of friends.

Many people who are settled and content don't consciously seek friendships. However, there are a few times in life when people do consciously set out to make new friends. Such times may be when a person starts college, moves to a new town, enters the world of work, or loses a spouse. At these times, it is typical to look in the places where there are people who share interests. People might look in the Yellow Pages under "Clubs and Organizations" or in the local newspaper for announcements about events and activities of interest. When trying to help young adults with disabilities meet new people it helps to ask, "What does this person like? If this were me, what would I do to find people with similar likes and interests?"

A formal process called Personal Futures Planning can be used to help build a network of support around young adults with a disabilities. This process includes a discussion between the young adult and those in his or her circle of support. In this process, the group identifies what the young adult's life has been like, what he or she wants it to be like, what abilities he or she has, what help he or she will need to achieve the kind of life he or she wants, and who can help provide that assistance.

III. ROLES/NEXT STEPS

Students/Young Adults:

Young adults with disabilities should try new things. Even if something does not work out, they should not give up. It is important for young adults to learn what being a friend means and then do it: be willing to listen, help others when you can, but most importantly, be willing to be there for other people. When adults ask you what you want for your future, talk to them about your friends. Make sure that any planning includes things you enjoy, not just work!

Families:

Families can help young adults learn about friendship and how to be a good friend. Families must recognize the importance of relationships beyond the family and paid staff. Encourage the young adult to participate in activities in the community, even if it means risking failure or disappointment. If attempts are not successful, they can be opportunities to learn. Families can also encourage people outside the family to do things with their family member. Do not forget friendships when participating in transition planning. Be sure that any vision of the future includes social relationships.

Agencies:

As noted earlier, educators and adult agency personnel can play an important role in helping a young adult develop a network of friends. Service providers must recognize the importance of friendships and be willing to take on a different role. Agency personnel should identify and encourage community members to provide support and friendship to people with disabilities.

IV. RESOURCES/CONTACTS

Staff at Families Helping Families Resource Centers can help identify programs and ways to help young people with disabilities participate in the community.

Families Helping Families Regional Offices

Acadiana: 800-378-9854

Bayouland: 800-331-5571

At the Crossroads: 800-259-7200

Greater Baton Rouge: 888-511-5299

Greater New Orleans: 800-766-7736

Northeast LA: 888-300-1320

Northshore: 800-383-8700

Northwest LA: 888-735-3722

Southwest LA: 800-894-6558

V. REFERENCES

Amado, A.N., Conklin, F., & Wells, J. (1990). Friends: A Manual for Connecting Persons with Disabilities and Community Members. St. Paul, Minnesota: Human Services Research and Development Center.

Winter, Pacesetter. (1998). Families can help their child with disabilities build community. Minneapolis, MN: Pacer Center.